Just Outside Your Door
by rednecksaints
Summary: As a companion to MY GIRL IS A SWITCHBLADE, we go back to the beginning of the story. Just how deep did Dwight's connection to Beth go? And what exactly motivated him to set her free? This time, hear it all from Dwight's point of view, starting from the first day Beth arrived at Negan's compound.
1. Arrival

She's a small and fragile little bird.

Graceful all the same.

Full of hidden power tucked within wings that are stowed away for later use.

For when she's ready to fly.

He sees that the first time he meets her.

Sees that hidden strength that everyone else missed.

But not him. No, Dwight sees it clearly.

And he won't soon forget.

When he first lays eyes on her, she's curled into the corner of a cement block room, feet tucked beneath her to protect from whatever predator walks through the door next. He immediately feels pity for the girl. She looks young, and by now she's probably lost the majority of her family - not that many can count themselves lucky enough to have any true family left these days. Whatever group she got separated from is probably long gone.

Or maybe she was already alone.

He can't stand the sight of her. She looks too fraile. Too innocent to have been scooped up by such an evil pack of wild dogs. The men here have lost their sense of humanity. They no longer know what it means to love or be cared for. They claim and trade and speak in vulgar tongues that only create a rise in one another for a petty glimpse at entertainment. They fight and they kill and they scavenger for whatever they can find, and then they give it all away for the illusion of safety. They give it away, because at the end of the day, none of it belongs to them.

It never belonged to them.

Everything is _his_. Or will be.

Dwight didn't understand the depth of Negan's cruelty until it was too late. He, along with his wife, Honey, and her younger sister, Tina, left the D.C. metro area with little food in their bellies and heavy packs on their backs. They never had much to begin with, so finding refuge in a forgotten neighborhood wasn't much of a downgrade. A few weeks into the start of the apocalypse, Dwight lost his job - as most of the lower class in the city did as well - so, the three of them crammed into a one bedroom apartment overlooking east D.C. and the Anacostia River.

This was not rock bottom, for that came much later.

Even after being forced to evacuate the area due to a surge of dead overtaking the building, they managed another month on their own. They ditched the city and found shelter on the outskirts of Alexandria. For a while, blending in and keeping quiet was enough, but when they reached the last dose of Tina's insulin, it was time to move on.

They found Negan's compound a few days later. More like the compound found them. They were taken in by three large guards seconds after stepping into the fifty foot perimeter, and despite protests from each of them, they were all separated. Dwight still doesn't know where the girls were taken that first day at camp - only because Honey still refuses to talk about it - but that day was the first time Dwight set eyes on Negan in the flesh. One glance up and down was all he needed to size this guy up. Negan was a bully - someone tougher and bigger than everyone else in the schoolyard, which meant he got dibs on everything. His followers didn't answer to him out of loyalty; they were afraid. Even with their smug faces and squared shoulders, it wasn't hard to miss the slight tremor in their hands as they held their guns. One wrong move, and they'd all set fire at his command. No need care about the target, as long as they weren't the ones on the receiving end.

At first, Dwight was allowed to stay with his wife in a room with no windows. She cried in his arms most nights in fear that they'd made a mistake, but he always reassured her that they were safe. They were fine. Everyone was told to pull their weight in whatever way benefitted the group the most, so Dwight took up ranks as one of Negan's officers. Most days he stood guard along the perimeter of the compound, but once or twice he was asked to accompany a group of men on a run. The thing was, they weren't looking for food or supplies themselves. They were being handed what belonged to other people. Dwight stood back and watched on multiple occasions while Negan's men tortured people for a few cans of peas or a set of nunchucks. It seemed ridiculous, but it didn't take long for Dwight to catch on.

Four weeks in, and Negan claimed his wife.

He forced her into having sex despite claiming that she had been willing, and when she came back to their room with a black eye and soiled pants, Dwight saw nothing but red.

Honey and Tina formed a plan to escape, and the three of them tried - if there's one thing Dwight will always be sure about, it's that he really and truly tried to get away - but they failed. Tina never made it back, because the dead claimed her before she even had a chance to run, and Honey was so heartbroken that she no longer saw the point in trying anymore. Eventually, Honey and Dwight were caught and punished.

After that, he wasn't allowed to see his wife anymore.

They exchanged short messages in passing, making sure the other knew they were okay. They were still alive, and that was what mattered now. As long as they stuck by the rules and kept their heads down, they were safe. Honey complied with all of Negan's requests of her, and Dwight sat back quietly, allowing it to happen.

He'd been somewhat tolerant of the new life he'd been forced into, but seeing this girl was a trigger. _This_ girl - this girl reminded him too much of why he kept his head down. He hadn't expected it. When he found the other men laughing and congregating in one of the underground corridors, he thought nothing of it. He tried to avoid them and go about his business, but they pulled him in. Told him he wouldn't believe what they found unless he saw it for himself. It was a real prize. Something they were keeping for themselves.

Something they weren't planning to share with Negan.

He knew what he was getting into when he opened the door, but he hadn't expected her to look so… well, like this.

She's refusing to look at him, but she flinches when he closes the door. The sound of the other men jeering and whistling crudely in the background are now muffled, and after a few seconds, they fade away entirely. They've walked away, giving him time to enjoy his turn with her. He's not sure how long that will be, and he doesn't know what he's going to do to keep himself occupied no matter what the length of time, but he knows he can't touch her. Not because it would be wrong, or even because he still has a commitment to his wife - despite how tarnished her end of that bargain may be.

No.

He simply doesn't want to.

She may be momentarily damaged and beaten down, but he can see a tiny light still glimmering in her spirit, and he's afraid that if his corrupt hands laid one finger on her, he'd tarnish that glow forever. For all he knows, he might be the last straw for her in what must have been a very long, very degrading day. He can't bring himself to be the reason she throws in the towel. He can't be the one thing that breaks her after a ferocious battle for dignity and nerve.

So, after hovering for longer than necessary, he decides to sit. He picks a perfectly acceptable patch of floor in the corner of the room, and he pulls out a small wooden carving, along with a pocket knife. He's been working on this particular miniature since he was brought back against his will but has yet to really have to time to spend on it. Unfortunately, he was forced to trade a perfectly good, nearly finished one to a biker he thought better not to trust.

The girl looks up from across the room and watches him carefully but remains quiet.

If doing this gives her just an hour of peace, then that's what he'll do.

So, Dwight begins to carve.


	2. Betrayal

He can't stop thinking about the girl.

He's sat with her in silence on three separate occasions, and nothing has sparked her interest in his presence. At least, nothing that he's been able to notice. Being alone with him doesn't upset her - she doesn't look more or less afraid when he steps into the room - but she does make eye contact. He doesn't think she's done that with any of the other men, so she must know by now that he's not like them.

Dwight doesn't like that his thoughts are being crowded by this new damsel in distress. It's getting in the way of his focus. He can't pretend that everything is fine when he remembers how untrue that is for her. He promised Honey that they would keep their heads down. Float under the radar and not draw attention to themselves. In order to put their colossal fuck up behind them, they have to move forward and forget. _This_ is their life now. _This_ is their world, no matter how ugly it may seem.

But he can't stop thinking about the girl.

The men that found her have chosen to keep their prize a secret, knowing that Negan's awareness would cost them their daily pleasures. Dwight could end it. He could go to Negan right now and spill the beans. It would mean serious punishment for those involved, but what would happen to the girl? Negan would more than likely keep her for himself, but would that be any better than the hell she's living now? Would it not be better to narrow her devils down to one? Dwight can't be sure, but it seems a waste not to try.

"Are you out of your mind?"

Honey is furious. Dwight knew she would be, but it didn't feel right to not at least run the idea past her first. She's come to collect his dirty clothes from that week and is stuffing them into a basket to take to the wash room. She's been spending a lot of time there, knowing it's a simple job and easy to blend in. He knows it's smart, and he enjoys the way she smells after she's spent a long day amongst the suds. She smells fresh, with the tiniest hint of lemon.

The way she's forcing his shirts and pants into the basket makes her anger that much more obvious, so he tries to reason with her. "I know it's none of our business - "

"That's right," she cuts him off. "It's not. We shouldn't be getting involved."

"But this is different," he begs. "What you and the others have to do is nothing compared to what that poor girl has to suffer through every day."

Honey turns on the spot and burrows her eyes into him. They're dark and out for blood. "As if you know," she says. She drops the basket purposefully, and one of Dwight's shirts falls out onto the floor. "I've suffered plenty. And everyone gets their fair share."

"Sherry, I know. I'm sorry."

He reaches for her, but she recoils. "Don't call me that."

He didn't mean to, but it slipped. It's been so long, and sometimes he forgets.

"I'm sorry," he repeats. "Honey, I'm sorry."

She absentmindedly fumbles with the ring on her left finger. It's the one he gave her for Valentine's Day three years ago. That was before. He's not sure how much time has passed since, but she still wears it every day. He's pretty sure she never takes it off.

"Are you doing this for her, or for your conscience?" she asks.

Dwight shrugs honestly. "I don't know. It just feels like the right thing to do."

Honey places a hand gently to his face and smiles. "Then do it. Just be careful."

She quickly retracts her hand because that small touch is all they can share. They've learned how close they can get to the line Negan has drawn without crossing it, and it's become easier as time passes to accept it. Dwight misses her. He misses being able to hold his wife in his arms. He misses being able to make love to her and laugh with her, and he even misses being there when she cries. But he's thankful for the fragmented encounters they do share, despite how scarce they've become, because no matter what it's something.

Sometimes, on days like today, it's everything.

Negan wasn't angry. Surprisingly, he was very calm.

It was like watching a shark casually swim by a bloody corpse without a second thought. It wasn't natural, and it placed Dwight on pins and needles waiting for the second he'd suddenly turn on everyone and explode.

Negan goes to retrieve the girl without a word. The men that had been keeping her a secret cling to the walls as their leader passes, shrinking into themselves with fear and extreme regret. But Negan says nothing. He takes the girl by the hand and escorts her down the hall without so much as a glance to anyone. Except for Dwight.

Dwight is waiting at the end of the corridor, as he'd been instructed to do, and when Negan approaches, he hands off the girl.

"Take her to my room," he says. "I'll be up in a moment."

Dwight does as he's told. He doesn't look back over his shoulder to witness what he expects will happen next, but the girl does, and the look on her face is enough confirmation that he's right.

Negan summons Dwight to the mess hall.

It's late, and dinner ended several hours ago, so the room is vacant save for Negan's right-hand man, Simon. Dwight approaches the man carefully, making sure to appear confident and unafraid of the choice he's made. Simon gives him a smug grin, as if he sees right through the display. They both know that no matter how brave Dwight's actions may have been, he'll be punished just the same as the others - if not more. Dwight prepared for this, and knowing the girl will be under Negan's protection makes it a bit easier to swallow.

"Sit down, Dwight," a voice instructs. It's Negan, and he's come in through the door just behind them, so Dwight is startled. But he recovers quickly, pulling out a chair from one of the circular tables and lowering himself into the seat.

"I know you must think highly of yourself because of what you did today," Negan begins, taking tantalizingly intimidating steps toward him. "But I need you to understand why you aren't coming out of this squeaky clean."

He places a hand on Dwight's shoulder then drops to a crouch and smiles up at him with sugar-coated disdain. Dwight holds his posture and swallows.

"Those mother fuckers were greedy, and they were naive. You, on the other hand, were just stupid." Negan inhales a leveling breath, then continues. "I know you understand how things work around here - probably better than most of the other shitheads - so that's why I'm choosing to be understanding about this. You saw that my men were betraying my orders under my own roof, so you turned them in. And I'm glad you did. But, Dwight… you made a mistake by not coming to me first."

Dwight opens his mouth to speak, but Negan holds up a hand to silence him.

"I saw the carving you gave that girl," Negan said. "You've known she was there for a while, but you kept that to yourself. You lied, just like the others." He drops his head dramatically. "Now, whether or not you had your share of her is a totally different story, and we're not gonna worry about that. I'd rather move past this, so I can know that you've properly learned your lesson. I let the attempted runaway go as a misdemeanor - you weren't fully acclimated yet, and you got skittish. I get it. So, technically this is your first strike." Negan lifts his eyes and focuses them directly on Dwight's. "And I don't give many."

Dwight nods. "Yes sir."

"Good man." Negan pats him confidently on the arm and gets to his feet. "Simon, let's get this over with, shall we? I've got a new guest to attend to."

Dwight shifts his eyes to Simon who now has a hot iron clutched in one hand. He didn't notice it before, but it must have been heating up while Negan was talking, giving the household object enough time to turn into a weapon. Dwight fidgets in his chair. His fingers clutch the seat beneath him and hold on for dear life. There's no way to prepare for this kind of torture, even though he's seen it done before. He watched another man named Mark get burned for sleeping with one of Negan's girls. Her name was Amber, and a few days later she was found at the bottom of the stairs, head cracked open and eyes staring boldly at the ceiling.

Negan doesn't like to share his wives. And his wives know better.

As the hot metal scorches the skin on Dwight's cheek, he bites his bottom lip to hold back the scream he desperately wants to release. He thinks of Honey and of the girl. He reminds himself that as long as he's receiving the punishment, they'll be safe. At least for the time being.

He bites down until he draws blood, then after inhaling the smell of his own flesh melting, he eventually blacks out.


	3. Change

When Honey was seven years old, her mother died.

It took being in a relationship with her for several years before Dwight ever heard the true story behind that phrase, but eventually Honey explained why she stopped going by her first name. You see, her mother - also named Sherry - wasn't actually her mother at all. She was her aunt. Her birth mother, Louise, died after being accidentally shot during a home invasion. It was Sherry's boyfriend at the time that pulled the trigger. Honey was only seven years old.

Sherry adopted her niece out of guilt but kept the truth about how the girl's mother passed away until she turned eighteen. Just before that, Sherry the second had met Dwight. The next time she saw him, she requested he call her Honey. It was the nickname her father had given her before he disappeared, and it was the only good memory she had from her childhood.

Occasionally, Dwight thought about what Honey's life would've been like with Louise to raise her. Honey was so hesitant when it came to trusting people, even before the turn, but he had no problem understanding why. It made perfect sense. The only thing that didn't was what had convinced her to trust _him_. Why, out of all the lousy men in D.C., had she chosen to be with him? Dwight was forever grateful to have met her, despite the horrible conditions their marriage now suffered through, and not once did he ever want to take it back. Even now.

Seeing the girl makes him wonder though. It makes him wonder about choices. The girl is different now - being taken under Negan's wing has made her stronger. He's seen the change in her eyes whenever he's granted the slight glimpse into her room when Negan enters and exits through the door. Negan has made Dwight her official guard, which requires standing watch outside her door twenty-four hours a day. On the rare occasion he's pulled away for another job, there's an ache in the pit of his stomach at leaving her behind. Negan's reasoning behind stationing Dwight so close to the girl was merely an act of claiming possession. He wanted to preserve what was left of the new gift he'd been given and remove any chance of someone taking it away. It was clear to Negan, based on previous actions, that Dwight had no interest in being that thief. He had done nothing but shown mercy to the girl. A girl that has yet to even tell him her name.

Certainly relieving the abuse she'd faced from Negan's men was beneficial to her in some way, whether it be small or not. Dwight chooses to believe it was the right thing to do. Even if it wasn't… well. He doesn't quite think he could bear that.

He's been instructed to escort her to the dining hall for dinner. This is new for both of them, because the last time they were this close was in her old cell. The inch of space between their arms as they walk feels magnetized, but Dwight can't tell if it's pulling him towards her or forcing him away.

It's the first time she'll be joining the other residents of the sanctuary, and despite feeling the urge to shelter her, he hopes the interactions will be good. Honey is more aware of the girl now. She may have been initially against his decision to get involved, but she seems to have softened a bit to the idea. With eyes closed and aggravated air held deep in her lungs, she reluctantly agreed to watch out for her, before Dwight even had to ask.

It's moments like that when Dwight knows he could never regret having Honey in his life.

The girl keeps watching him from the corner of her eye. He knows she's noticed the scars - it's the first thing anyone sees now, whether he likes it or not - and he wants her to just come out and say something. Speak, for once. Say more than the one word she uttered on the grimy floor of that cell.

"Is that because of me?" she asks.

The sound of her voice actually takes him by surprise. He'd been waiting to hear it for so long, and it doesn't resemble the meek whisper he remembered. Now her timber is strong. Light and airy. But firm.

He's afraid his words will upset her, and he doesn't want to lay an unnecessary layer of guilt on top of her pain, so he merely nods once.

She blinks, and says, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." The words come out without his permission, but he can't reel them back. Realizing he should probably just keep going, he asks the question that's been filling his mind for days. "You're okay, right? Better than before."

Her reaction isn't clear. She shivers - twitches, more like it - and drops her head suddenly to watch their feet. After several seconds of deliberation, she divulges an answer, but he knows it's not the truth.

"Yes," she says, swallowing hard. "Thank you."

Dwight discovers the girl's name is Beth, but only because Honey took the liberty of asking her directly. It wasn't important, but now that he knows, it feels like something he needed. Something that now makes it easier to look her in the eye and feel good about his decision to remove her from her cell of misery and pain.

Honey doesn't use her name. She still refers to her as "the girl", and it makes Dwight's muscles in his jaw tense and twitch at the sharpness in her tone. Not that Honey isn't playing along. She's done well by Beth, becoming her personal guide to adjusting to life in the Sanctuary. Dwight has heard the rumors from the other girls. Beth is the pretty one - the shiny new toy that Negan will be eager to play with for as long as he sees fit. It would seem to be a relief for the other girls, having Negan's advances directed towards someone else for a change, but the rules are different here. Everything about life at the Sanctuary is skewed. Less attention to one of Negan's wives means less reward for that woman's previous partner. Instead of earning free meals or gaining highly sought after amenities, their husbands - now ex-husbands - will be forced to work for points. The possibility has even crossed Dwight's mind when it comes to the deal he and Honey made upon arriving back at Negan's doorstep. But Honey has always been a favorite of the man in charge, and despite a few small acts of treason, Dwight has become one of Negan's most loyal companions. Mostly without choice, but it's come with its benefits.

He's one of the few that have working televisions in their rooms. And if Dwight sees something he wants, no one has the authority to question his right to take it. He's used this to his full advantage with most trivial things, but it helps fill the void when it comes to the things he can't control. Like the desperate need to break Negan's teeth whenever the man spends just a little too long kissing the woman he loves in front of him. He still loves Honey, despite it all.

Dwight reminds himself of that as he stands outside of Beth's door - something that feels more like a personal responsibility now than a command from Negan. He's no longer on watch duty now that Negan has taken the liberty of installing a padlock over the handle, but he's still her personal escort, and tonight, as he walked her bath to her room after supper, she told him something he didn't want to hear.

So he's yet to move. He stands there gripping the crossbow she mentioned with white-knuckled fingers. She knows Daryl - that man he and Honey ran across in the woods before Tina died. Before everything went to shit and they made the decision to go back. They'd decided it was too risky to trust him, so they'd stolen his bike and his bow. Dwight never thought they'd cross paths again, but here he is - the man's name spoken from the lips of a girl he now gives a shit about. And he doesn't know why.

He decides to do something. He decides that while severing the path between Daryl and Beth might be selfish, it's the better option. Dwight wants to keep her safe. He wants to hold on to the small routine they have, walking the halls of the Sanctuary together. If Beth knew Daryl was out there - if he was alive nearby - she'd take whatever opportunity she could to get to him, and that made Dwight's stomach churn. So, Dwight was going to find him. And he was going to kill him.

Because Dwight couldn't stand the thought of someone else standing where he stood.

Even if it was just outside her door.


End file.
